Ready.gov

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has a fantastic webpage on building simple survival kits, and how to deal with some of the "scares" that have popped up over the last couple years.

Ready.gov has plans for you to protect yourself and your family in case of biological, chemical, nuclear, or natural disasters.

They even offer instructions on building a survival kit. They aren't too bad, but a little on the simple side. They'll get you to the next town or shelter, but won't be sufficient enough to give you a good start on a new life in the midst of a national/global disaster.

The only thing I personally learned from their site, that I didn't already know, is the idea of creating a "shelter-in-place" to seal a room from contaminants.

Interesting, but scary. Let's hope we never have to use those methods of survival.

Survive an Indecisive Woman Taking Forever To Make Up Her Mind

Hmm, I should probably have gotten a woman to write this post, because I just don't understand them. But anyways, here goes:

You've asked a girl out, and it's taking a really long time for her to make up her mind... so what do you do?

KEEP WAITING.

Seriously, that's about all you can do. Women are indeed mysterious creatures, and it can only go badly for us guys if we pressure them.

Now this doesn't mean you should give up on them. If they're taking a while to consider it, then it defintely means there's some interest.

Protect her heart. If you're a true man, you should be pursueing her heart, not manipulating it. And if you truly care about her, you would want what's best for her, whatever it means to you. Dating/courting a girl is no time to be selfish.

So just keep waiting...
and just maybe, she'll open her heart to you.

Survive an All-Nighter

Deadlines are due, the exam is coming up, the situation needs monitoring, or you just want to stay up to see the sunrise with a special sweetheart... there's lots of reasons why you may have to pull an "all-nighter", and go an entire day without sleep. Here's some tips and common misconceptions to help you get through it:

Caffeine. This simple miracle drug will keep you at a heightened state of alartness throughout the night. Take it in moderate doses through the occasional cup of coffee, tea, soda or energy drink. Just enough to keep you awake, but not so much that it melts a hole through your stomach lining. Drink lots of water, since caffeine will dehydrate you, which in turn saps your long-term energy.

Sugar. Stay away from it. Sugar gives you a quick and sudden energy burst, but will actually end up making you even more tired than you were before the second you fall out of the sugar high. Keeping a constant supply might seem feasible, but you'll only hit the pavement the second it wears off.

Snacks. Food is good, and as long as it's in a slow steady stream, will supply you with plenty of energy. However, stay away from unhealthy snacks and carbohydrates, which take more effort to digest.

Adrenaline. This is the real secret to staying awake for long periods of time. Physical exercise works, and so does staying excited about your goal for staying up. As long as you maitain a sence of urgency and excitement, you're pretty much set. Be careful that this doesn't turn into stress, or that hole in your stomach lining won't need the coffee.

Music. Fast-paced, loud, and interesting. Not only will it fuel your adrenaline, but will keep your mind distracted and busy.

Comedy. No one has ever fallen asleep while laughing hysterically. Keep things light and funny.

Accountability. If you're staying awake with others, work together to make sure nobody drifts off to sleep.

Naps. While techically sleeping, a short 30-minute nap will give you the energy you need to go on for several more hours.

If there's anything I've missed, let me know.

I'm writing this while my computer is busy rendering a video, and I've only had a handful of short naps worth of sleep in the last three days. I've learned these things by experience!

Survive a Cactopus Attack

Half cactus... Half octopus. When these creatures attack with their multiple quill-covered legs, things can get pretty nasty.
So what do you do? Believe it or not, they can be taken out easily just like any of your other favourite house plants.

Drown it with water.

To get close enough, you'll want to wear some pair of thick gardening glove. Quills from the cacti family are long and thin, and extremely annoying to remove.
Bring your watering can. This is your weapon of choice.
Pour, and repeat. Drown it with more water than it could possibly need at once.

And of course, once it's dead, carefully dispose of the deceased plant, and be weary of quills. Also, be sure to do it before your son or daughter stops you from killing their favourite house plant.